Deadpool & Wolverine: $1 billion worth of 💩

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I’m in the minority here, but Deadpool & Wolverine is total dog shit.

Here’s why:

Look, I’m not a huge Ryan Reynolds fan. He’s obviously incredibly successful, both in entertainment and in business, and is undeniably funny if you’ve never seen him in anything…until you realize that in every movie (and real life), he plays one character: Ryan Reynolds.

His entire schtick is saying naughty things in a calm and ever-so-slightly sociopathic voice with that half-smile plastered on like it’s made of plastic, with the juxtaposition between nice guy and nasty words cracking people up for some reason.

But in this movie, of which Ryan Reynolds is one of many writers, it’s like they decided to see what would happen if they took Ryan Reynolds playing Ryan Reynolds and forced it down our throats until we begged them to stop.

First off, there is no story. None whatsoever. Every scene is either a meaningless fight scene in slow-motion or a set-up for the next fight scene. When the fight scene goes on too long (because every character is indestructible) it just…ends. Just…because!

In the final fight scene between multiple Deadpools, it ends out of nowhere because a random chubby dude arrives just in time and they all decide to stop fighting because they all like him.

Masterful storytelling…if you’re an orangutan.